1
00:00:03,035 --> 00:00:05,269
[♪]
2
00:01:17,543 --> 00:01:19,610
Another great meal, peg.
3
00:01:22,915 --> 00:01:24,683
You know, honey,
you're incredible.
4
00:01:24,684 --> 00:01:26,617
You ignore the children,
you neglect the house,
5
00:01:26,618 --> 00:01:27,886
And still you find time
6
00:01:27,887 --> 00:01:31,856
To let the dinner get cold
before you serve it.
7
00:01:31,857 --> 00:01:33,992
How do you do it?
8
00:01:33,993 --> 00:01:36,795
Well, al, I guess
I care enough about me
9
00:01:36,796 --> 00:01:38,129
Not to care about you.
10
00:01:38,130 --> 00:01:39,397
[laughs]
11
00:01:40,465 --> 00:01:41,733
You know,
it's times like these
12
00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:42,934
I'd like
to take you upstairs
13
00:01:42,935 --> 00:01:44,335
And plug that hole
in the roof.
14
00:01:44,336 --> 00:01:45,970
[both laughing]
15
00:01:49,942 --> 00:01:51,710
Now, listen, peg,
my week off starts tonight,
16
00:01:51,711 --> 00:01:53,712
So if there's any place
you ever wanted to go,
17
00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:56,047
Get the kids, pack up,
and, uh, see you in a week.
18
00:01:57,883 --> 00:01:59,450
Not this year, al.
19
00:01:59,451 --> 00:02:00,752
Every time
I leave you alone,
20
00:02:00,753 --> 00:02:02,921
You just mess
this house up.
21
00:02:04,389 --> 00:02:06,891
This year, you're going
to do all those things
22
00:02:06,892 --> 00:02:09,427
That you promised to do
when you have the time.
23
00:02:09,428 --> 00:02:10,795
Let's see...
24
00:02:10,796 --> 00:02:13,297
"consummate marriage."
25
00:02:13,298 --> 00:02:14,532
[sighs]
26
00:02:14,533 --> 00:02:17,335
Nah, that's more of
a do-it-yourself job.
27
00:02:20,272 --> 00:02:21,439
Here we go.
28
00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:22,774
Here's the stuff
you can do:
29
00:02:22,775 --> 00:02:25,476
"paint the house,
plant the lawn,
30
00:02:25,477 --> 00:02:27,345
"caulk the windows,
31
00:02:27,346 --> 00:02:30,882
"do the laundry...
32
00:02:30,883 --> 00:02:33,051
Fix the toilet,
clean the gutters,"
33
00:02:33,052 --> 00:02:34,552
And if you have time,
34
00:02:34,553 --> 00:02:37,622
"talk to the children."
35
00:02:37,623 --> 00:02:39,023
Both bud and nancy?
36
00:02:39,024 --> 00:02:40,625
It's kelly, al.
37
00:02:40,626 --> 00:02:41,726
Whatever.
38
00:02:41,727 --> 00:02:43,661
Listen, peg,
I don't wanna do anything.
39
00:02:43,662 --> 00:02:45,063
It's my week off.
40
00:02:45,064 --> 00:02:48,032
But, honey, if you don't
do these chores, who will?
41
00:02:48,033 --> 00:02:49,667
How about sid and nancy?
42
00:02:52,138 --> 00:02:53,571
It's bud and kelly.
43
00:02:53,572 --> 00:02:55,273
Yes, them.
44
00:02:55,274 --> 00:02:56,407
[doorbell rings]
45
00:02:56,408 --> 00:02:59,277
Get that, peg?
46
00:02:59,278 --> 00:03:00,444
"answer door."
47
00:03:00,445 --> 00:03:01,913
Ahhh...
48
00:03:01,914 --> 00:03:03,014
Good night, honey.
49
00:03:06,051 --> 00:03:08,219
[doorbell rings]
50
00:03:11,523 --> 00:03:14,392
Ah, steve, gee.
Must be my lucky day.
51
00:03:16,262 --> 00:03:18,429
Why, did they raise
the minimum wage?
52
00:03:18,430 --> 00:03:20,464
[laughs]
53
00:03:22,668 --> 00:03:24,769
Oh, listen, al.
54
00:03:24,770 --> 00:03:26,271
Remember last week,
55
00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:28,807
We were talking about going
fishing on your week off?
56
00:03:28,808 --> 00:03:30,308
Well, I rented us a cabin
57
00:03:30,309 --> 00:03:33,945
On a lake so loaded with fish,
they jump on your hook.
58
00:03:33,946 --> 00:03:36,147
It's just the way
wilderness should be.
59
00:03:36,148 --> 00:03:38,917
There are "no trespassing"
signs everywhere.
60
00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:42,353
There's a 7-eleven
10 minutes away.
61
00:03:42,354 --> 00:03:45,723
What do you think?
What do I think?
62
00:03:45,724 --> 00:03:48,592
[humming "dueling banjos"]
63
00:03:51,163 --> 00:03:53,832
[humming "dueling banjos"]
64
00:03:54,499 --> 00:03:56,467
[humming]
65
00:03:56,468 --> 00:03:57,936
[humming]
66
00:03:57,937 --> 00:03:59,704
[humming together]
67
00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:05,076
Shh! Wake up peg,
68
00:04:05,077 --> 00:04:06,845
If she hears me
having a good time,
69
00:04:06,846 --> 00:04:08,947
She'll want some too.
70
00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:10,548
How long do we have
the cabin for?
71
00:04:10,549 --> 00:04:11,549
Five whole days.
72
00:04:11,550 --> 00:04:14,052
Five days? Oh, man!
73
00:04:14,053 --> 00:04:16,254
Now, listen, al,
this cabin cost me $250.
74
00:04:16,255 --> 00:04:17,555
Hey, don't apologize
to me, steve.
75
00:04:17,556 --> 00:04:20,458
If I'm going for free,
I've no right to complain.
76
00:04:22,394 --> 00:04:23,728
"dear peg...
77
00:04:23,729 --> 00:04:25,163
"by the time you read this,
78
00:04:25,164 --> 00:04:27,698
"there will be nothing
you can do about it.
79
00:04:29,801 --> 00:04:32,803
"I was called away
on an emergency fishing trip.
80
00:04:34,306 --> 00:04:36,707
"I'll be away a week.
81
00:04:36,708 --> 00:04:39,643
"I wouldn't blame you if
you took the kids and left me,
82
00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:44,749
"but if you do,
take the dog too.
83
00:04:46,185 --> 00:04:48,353
"I guess this is goodbye.
84
00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:50,054
Love, al."
85
00:04:53,592 --> 00:04:55,260
"al."
86
00:04:57,629 --> 00:04:58,729
Cock-a-doodle-doo.
87
00:04:58,730 --> 00:05:00,564
Shh!
88
00:05:04,803 --> 00:05:07,105
Hi, steve, marcy.
89
00:05:09,341 --> 00:05:12,143
Steve, aren't you afraid
she'll find out about the trip?
90
00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:15,280
What kind of a guy
do you think I am?
91
00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:17,481
Like I'd really go away
for a week without my wife.
92
00:05:17,482 --> 00:05:18,482
Where's peggy?
93
00:05:18,483 --> 00:05:19,550
Come on, peg!
94
00:05:21,753 --> 00:05:24,188
Time to go!
95
00:05:24,189 --> 00:05:26,791
Peggy: Marcy,
I-is that you?
96
00:05:26,792 --> 00:05:30,528
Yeah! Come on, wake the kids,
we're going fishing!
97
00:05:30,529 --> 00:05:33,631
Shh! Not so loud.
You'll wake up al.
98
00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:40,171
[gasps]
99
00:05:40,172 --> 00:05:42,773
Oh, I love it.
It's so rustic.
100
00:05:42,774 --> 00:05:44,108
[sniffs deeply]
101
00:05:44,109 --> 00:05:46,077
And the air smells great.
102
00:05:46,078 --> 00:05:49,013
Yeah, well,
get it while you can.
103
00:05:49,014 --> 00:05:51,549
Once al settles in,
the shoes come off.
104
00:05:52,918 --> 00:05:53,952
Oh.
105
00:05:53,953 --> 00:05:54,986
[shutter clicks]
106
00:05:54,987 --> 00:05:57,422
[grunting]
107
00:05:57,423 --> 00:06:00,358
Okay, peg,
this hair dryer is yours,
108
00:06:00,359 --> 00:06:02,193
And these cases
of bottled water,
109
00:06:02,194 --> 00:06:03,594
Marcy, are yours...
110
00:06:03,595 --> 00:06:04,728
[thudding]
111
00:06:04,729 --> 00:06:07,098
And I believe
this hernia is mine.
112
00:06:07,099 --> 00:06:09,467
[shutter clicks]
113
00:06:09,468 --> 00:06:11,269
It's a beautiful
cabin, steve.
114
00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:12,803
Great job, mr. Rhoades.
115
00:06:14,739 --> 00:06:17,075
[peggy chuckles]
116
00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:19,810
Isn't he cute?
117
00:06:19,811 --> 00:06:22,880
Even squid
love their young.
118
00:06:26,952 --> 00:06:28,719
What a dump.
119
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,221
[clatter]
120
00:06:30,222 --> 00:06:33,824
Kelly, honey, let me explain
something about fishing rods.
121
00:06:33,825 --> 00:06:35,659
When you throw them down,
you break them.
122
00:06:35,660 --> 00:06:37,028
Then daddy can't fish.
123
00:06:37,029 --> 00:06:38,729
If daddy can't fish,
he's stuck with mommy.
124
00:06:38,730 --> 00:06:42,967
If daddy's stuck with mommy,
nobody leaves here alive.
125
00:06:42,968 --> 00:06:46,837
I didn't ask to come,
and I didn't ask to be born.
126
00:06:50,175 --> 00:06:51,642
Peg?
127
00:06:51,643 --> 00:06:54,812
Well, it's her time
of the month, al.
128
00:06:56,081 --> 00:07:00,818
What the hell did we
bring her for, then?
129
00:07:00,819 --> 00:07:04,255
Squeaked through
another month, eh, kel?
130
00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:11,462
Your mother.
131
00:07:11,463 --> 00:07:12,830
Your father.
132
00:07:12,831 --> 00:07:18,069
Now, kids, let's leave
the insults at home, huh?
133
00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:19,070
Now, look, kelly,
134
00:07:19,071 --> 00:07:20,671
I came up here
for a good time.
135
00:07:20,672 --> 00:07:22,473
Now, I understand why
you have to do this.
136
00:07:22,474 --> 00:07:24,875
I just don't understand
why it has to be now.
137
00:07:24,876 --> 00:07:27,045
Go...Away.
138
00:07:27,046 --> 00:07:29,247
"go away, daddy."
139
00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:31,549
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where's my room?
140
00:07:31,550 --> 00:07:32,917
This is it.
141
00:07:34,686 --> 00:07:36,921
You mean
there's no bedroom?
142
00:07:36,922 --> 00:07:39,257
Of course not. It's a cabin.
143
00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:41,926
It's an outhouse.
144
00:07:41,927 --> 00:07:43,961
Hey, this place
cost me and steve
145
00:07:43,962 --> 00:07:44,995
A small fortune,
146
00:07:44,996 --> 00:07:47,031
And you're gonna like it.
147
00:07:47,032 --> 00:07:51,202
Oh, come on, everybody,
let's have fun.
148
00:07:51,203 --> 00:07:53,371
I know. Let's go shopping.
149
00:07:53,372 --> 00:07:56,407
We passed a nice little
rustic store on the way up here,
150
00:07:56,408 --> 00:07:59,277
Where the men were chopping wood
with their shirts off.
151
00:07:59,278 --> 00:08:00,678
[chuckles]
152
00:08:01,846 --> 00:08:04,115
Well, you know what they say.
153
00:08:04,116 --> 00:08:06,551
You can never
have enough lumber.
154
00:08:07,852 --> 00:08:09,820
I know what we can do.
155
00:08:09,821 --> 00:08:11,989
Let's go on
a nature hunt.
156
00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:13,824
We can collect leaves
and arrowheads
157
00:08:13,825 --> 00:08:15,526
And take pictures
of the wildlife.
158
00:08:15,527 --> 00:08:17,462
Yeah, then we'll
all get naked
159
00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:19,863
And sing
"this land is your land."
160
00:08:22,634 --> 00:08:24,602
I don't know about you,
steve. I'm going fishing.
161
00:08:24,603 --> 00:08:25,669
I'm with you, buddy.
162
00:08:27,005 --> 00:08:28,806
Just us men, eh,
mr. Rhoades?
163
00:08:28,807 --> 00:08:30,308
Yeah, you said it.
164
00:08:30,309 --> 00:08:31,875
[chuckles]
165
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:35,513
[thud]
166
00:08:42,887 --> 00:08:44,188
Hey, girls!
167
00:08:44,189 --> 00:08:46,724
What do you say to this?
168
00:08:53,798 --> 00:08:55,133
Oh, no.
169
00:08:57,269 --> 00:08:58,469
What is it, al?
170
00:09:02,774 --> 00:09:04,375
Periods, steve.
171
00:09:06,345 --> 00:09:08,779
Three of 'em.
172
00:09:29,234 --> 00:09:30,535
All three at once.
173
00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:33,471
What did they do,
give it to each other?
174
00:09:34,973 --> 00:09:37,408
Actually,
it's an interesting phenomenon
175
00:09:37,409 --> 00:09:38,909
That happens quite often.
176
00:09:38,910 --> 00:09:41,245
I read they did a study
of a girls' college dormitory,
177
00:09:41,246 --> 00:09:44,014
And most of the women wound up
menstruating at the same time.
178
00:09:44,015 --> 00:09:47,117
What should we do now?
179
00:09:47,118 --> 00:09:49,353
Eat!
180
00:09:49,354 --> 00:09:52,756
Hey, peg, you know the deal,
we catch 'em, you clean 'em!
181
00:09:53,892 --> 00:09:55,560
Ahhh...
182
00:09:57,329 --> 00:09:59,363
[chuckling softly]
183
00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:02,266
[smooch]
184
00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:05,069
[chuckles]
185
00:10:10,842 --> 00:10:12,042
It's clean.
186
00:10:12,043 --> 00:10:13,477
[chuckles]
187
00:10:13,478 --> 00:10:16,380
You see why I never
go anywhere with her?
188
00:10:16,381 --> 00:10:17,815
Now, al,
let's not panic.
189
00:10:17,816 --> 00:10:20,551
What women need
at a time like this
190
00:10:20,552 --> 00:10:22,220
Is compassion, love,
and understanding.
191
00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:27,091
Partners through life...
192
00:10:27,092 --> 00:10:29,026
Partners through strife.
193
00:10:32,397 --> 00:10:35,065
Marcy...Let's talk.
194
00:10:36,535 --> 00:10:37,468
Fine.
195
00:10:39,804 --> 00:10:41,539
Let's talk about 14 months ago
196
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:46,644
When I wanted to see that movie
and you were too tired,
197
00:10:46,645 --> 00:10:48,912
And about the time
you wore that gray sweater.
198
00:10:48,913 --> 00:10:51,582
I hate that sweater.
199
00:10:51,583 --> 00:10:53,817
I hate you, steve.
200
00:10:55,220 --> 00:10:57,655
Everything about you.
201
00:10:57,656 --> 00:10:59,223
Every breath you take,
202
00:10:59,224 --> 00:11:01,792
Every move you make.
203
00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:05,730
You, sir, stink!
204
00:11:05,731 --> 00:11:11,502
[sobbing]
I feel so bloated and so ugly.
205
00:11:11,503 --> 00:11:15,539
See how mean
he is to me, peg?
206
00:11:25,216 --> 00:11:27,818
[squeaking]
well, marcy's okay.
207
00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:29,620
Bud, go over
208
00:11:29,621 --> 00:11:31,155
And say something
nice to your sister.
209
00:11:31,156 --> 00:11:32,556
Dad, I don't even like her.
210
00:11:32,557 --> 00:11:34,592
Who does? Just go.
211
00:11:38,697 --> 00:11:40,164
Hey, kel.
212
00:11:40,165 --> 00:11:43,534
Hm, you're carrying
that extra chin very nicely.
213
00:11:47,071 --> 00:11:49,407
[thwack]
bud: Ooh!
214
00:11:52,678 --> 00:11:54,812
[high-pitched]
you're next, dad.
215
00:11:57,115 --> 00:11:59,483
Not me, son. I did what
custer should have:
216
00:11:59,484 --> 00:12:02,420
Used scouts.
217
00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:04,755
You know why they're doing this
to us, don't you, steve?
218
00:12:04,756 --> 00:12:06,490
It's because we were
gonna have fun.
219
00:12:06,491 --> 00:12:09,493
That's why they invented
this period thing.
220
00:12:09,494 --> 00:12:12,797
Back before men,
women didn't have periods.
221
00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:15,499
Gee, it would have been nice
to live then.
222
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:17,000
You know who was a good woman?
223
00:12:17,001 --> 00:12:21,238
Veronica. You know,
from archie's comics?
224
00:12:21,239 --> 00:12:24,141
Veronica never had a period.
225
00:12:26,010 --> 00:12:28,212
That's true,
226
00:12:28,213 --> 00:12:30,381
But she still had
an attitude problem.
227
00:12:30,382 --> 00:12:32,783
You're right,
there are no good ones.
228
00:12:32,784 --> 00:12:34,485
It's cold in here!
229
00:12:34,486 --> 00:12:35,786
It's hot in here.
230
00:12:35,787 --> 00:12:38,889
It's hot and cold in here.
231
00:12:38,890 --> 00:12:41,892
We're in some major-league
trouble here, men.
232
00:12:44,195 --> 00:12:47,465
The kid's right, al,
I'm scared.
233
00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:49,132
Be thankful
yours just kills,
234
00:12:49,133 --> 00:12:50,601
It's quick, it's clean.
235
00:12:50,602 --> 00:12:52,302
Mine, like
the black widow,
236
00:12:52,303 --> 00:12:55,239
Wants to mate
before she kills.
237
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:03,614
I'm a dead man.
238
00:13:07,552 --> 00:13:09,754
Let's go to bed.
Let them suffer.
239
00:13:09,755 --> 00:13:10,755
We'll wake up refreshed,
240
00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:11,756
Go fishing,
241
00:13:11,757 --> 00:13:13,424
Let them
kill each other.
242
00:13:13,425 --> 00:13:14,792
[laughing]
243
00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:31,409
Oh...
244
00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:35,312
God. I feel foul.
245
00:13:35,313 --> 00:13:38,649
Oh, I'm so bloated,
even my teeth are swollen.
246
00:13:38,650 --> 00:13:42,019
If I retain
any more water in my body,
247
00:13:42,020 --> 00:13:45,656
They could build a pier
across my butt.
248
00:13:48,493 --> 00:13:50,461
Oh, I need a back rub.
249
00:13:50,462 --> 00:13:52,229
I need
a foot rub.
250
00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:55,098
I need someone
to yell at.
251
00:13:55,099 --> 00:13:57,167
Where are the men?
252
00:13:57,168 --> 00:13:59,069
I bet they
went fishing.
253
00:13:59,070 --> 00:14:01,439
Isn't that
just like men?
254
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:04,141
When we need them most,
they're never around.
255
00:14:04,142 --> 00:14:05,943
Men are the lowest.
256
00:14:05,944 --> 00:14:09,079
Let's pretend bud's a man
and kill him.
257
00:14:17,756 --> 00:14:20,190
[whispers]
men, we're surrounded.
258
00:14:21,726 --> 00:14:23,594
Men?
259
00:14:27,065 --> 00:14:28,532
Well, what happened?
260
00:14:28,533 --> 00:14:29,733
We were walking
through the woods
261
00:14:29,734 --> 00:14:30,868
Quiet as you please,
262
00:14:30,869 --> 00:14:32,670
When all of a sudden,
the ground started shaking
263
00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:34,404
And something came
crashing through a bush.
264
00:14:34,405 --> 00:14:35,606
I thought it was you, peg,
265
00:14:35,607 --> 00:14:36,740
But it didn't
want my wallet.
266
00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:43,481
It was a bear.
267
00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:46,283
A big one,
with my name on it.
268
00:14:46,985 --> 00:14:48,018
There he is!
269
00:14:48,019 --> 00:14:49,252
That's a moose.
270
00:14:49,253 --> 00:14:52,155
The bear's over there
spraying your tires.
271
00:14:52,156 --> 00:14:53,958
Those are my mercedes!
272
00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:55,292
Stop that!
273
00:14:55,293 --> 00:14:58,696
Bad! Bad bear!
274
00:14:58,697 --> 00:15:00,297
What do they want?
We have no food.
275
00:15:00,298 --> 00:15:01,599
They don't want
us, bud.
276
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:05,035
Let me talk
to your father alone.
277
00:15:05,036 --> 00:15:09,339
See, al, wild animals
can sense when women are, uh...
278
00:15:09,340 --> 00:15:11,441
Killing their husbands?
279
00:15:11,442 --> 00:15:15,513
No, al, when they're...Cycling.
280
00:15:15,514 --> 00:15:18,616
Don't you understand?
They want our women.
281
00:15:19,718 --> 00:15:22,586
Well, then, our women
they shall have.
282
00:15:24,956 --> 00:15:25,990
Oh, peg!
283
00:15:29,828 --> 00:15:32,029
We've gotta get outta here.
284
00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:34,498
We can't get out of here.
We're trapped.
285
00:15:34,499 --> 00:15:36,634
Well, somebody has
to go for help.
286
00:15:36,635 --> 00:15:39,369
Oh, and chocolate.
287
00:15:39,370 --> 00:15:40,604
Gee, I--
288
00:15:40,605 --> 00:15:43,040
I'd love to, honey,
but I can't.
289
00:15:43,041 --> 00:15:47,177
There's a moose
filling my gas tank.
290
00:15:47,178 --> 00:15:49,379
I'd hate to interrupt
him right now.
291
00:15:49,380 --> 00:15:53,050
Look at them.
Our protectors.
292
00:15:53,051 --> 00:15:54,451
The great white hunters.
293
00:15:54,452 --> 00:15:56,587
You know, in the old days,
294
00:15:56,588 --> 00:15:59,222
Those men would have
gone out there, fought the bear,
295
00:15:59,223 --> 00:16:01,926
Come back with supper
and a nice rug.
296
00:16:01,927 --> 00:16:03,928
Now you send them for milk,
297
00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:06,129
They come back
with a leaking carton,
298
00:16:06,130 --> 00:16:09,199
A runny nose and a bad back.
299
00:16:10,234 --> 00:16:11,902
You know, it's amazing.
300
00:16:11,903 --> 00:16:16,440
The one thing they're good for
they're not good at.
301
00:16:16,441 --> 00:16:18,742
I hate the way
they won't ask directions
302
00:16:18,743 --> 00:16:20,678
When they're lost.
303
00:16:20,679 --> 00:16:23,513
And the way they leave
the toilet seat up.
304
00:16:23,514 --> 00:16:28,619
And the way they ask you
to chip in for the motel room.
305
00:16:34,559 --> 00:16:36,794
So I've heard.
306
00:16:39,130 --> 00:16:44,434
Well, the cast of bambi
is out there now.
307
00:16:44,435 --> 00:16:47,037
And in here, we have
some of the seven dwarfs...
308
00:16:48,573 --> 00:16:51,208
Puffy, crabby and horny.
309
00:16:56,748 --> 00:17:00,283
So I'd say it's safe to say
that this day's shot.
310
00:17:00,284 --> 00:17:01,885
What say we all turn in?
311
00:17:01,886 --> 00:17:03,353
[groaning]
312
00:17:03,354 --> 00:17:05,288
Al, it is 7:30
in the morning.
313
00:17:05,289 --> 00:17:06,890
Well, peg,
we're out in the woods now.
314
00:17:06,891 --> 00:17:09,093
You get up early,
you go to bed early. Good night.
315
00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:10,160
Mwah, mwah.
316
00:17:12,731 --> 00:17:15,966
More hot water
for breakfast, anyone?
317
00:17:15,967 --> 00:17:18,002
[groans]
318
00:17:19,104 --> 00:17:20,237
Oh, what's today?
319
00:17:20,238 --> 00:17:21,471
It's Thursday.
320
00:17:21,472 --> 00:17:23,040
Did I miss anything?
321
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:25,976
Yeah. Wednesday.
322
00:17:25,977 --> 00:17:29,113
Well, I guess
I'll turn in, then.
323
00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:31,181
Daddy, we're starving to death.
324
00:17:31,182 --> 00:17:34,284
And some of us are aging badly.
325
00:17:34,285 --> 00:17:36,553
Zip it, pimple farm.
326
00:17:36,554 --> 00:17:37,621
Daddy, do something.
327
00:17:37,622 --> 00:17:38,789
I'm going to, pumpkin.
328
00:17:38,790 --> 00:17:40,590
I'm gonna take a nap
in a few minutes.
329
00:17:40,591 --> 00:17:44,261
Oh, steve!
How's the car?
330
00:17:44,262 --> 00:17:48,431
Well, I can, uh, still just
about tell it's a mercedes.
331
00:17:48,432 --> 00:17:49,833
Of course,
the tires are flat,
332
00:17:49,834 --> 00:17:52,335
But that's probably because
of the porcupine quills.
333
00:17:52,336 --> 00:17:54,304
And that cougar who went
in through the sunroof
334
00:17:54,305 --> 00:17:55,305
Only looks
like he's driving,
335
00:17:55,306 --> 00:17:58,042
Because I've got the keys.
336
00:17:58,043 --> 00:17:59,810
So I guess
the laugh's on him.
337
00:17:59,811 --> 00:18:01,178
[chuckles]
338
00:18:01,179 --> 00:18:04,247
$30,000...
339
00:18:04,248 --> 00:18:06,016
Al...
340
00:18:06,017 --> 00:18:08,318
You...Are an idiot.
341
00:18:08,319 --> 00:18:09,653
I was home,
342
00:18:09,654 --> 00:18:12,355
I was comfortable,
I was safe.
343
00:18:12,356 --> 00:18:17,695
I truly,
truly hate you.
344
00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:20,330
Come on, honey, let's do it.
345
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,101
Let's go into the bathroom.
346
00:18:24,102 --> 00:18:26,804
Come on. No one has to know...
347
00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:28,638
Not even you.
348
00:18:31,042 --> 00:18:33,210
Steve, give me the keys
to your car.
349
00:18:33,211 --> 00:18:34,945
I'm gonna go for help.
350
00:18:34,946 --> 00:18:37,948
There are animals
all over the car, al.
351
00:18:37,949 --> 00:18:41,585
Maybe I can reason with them.
352
00:18:41,586 --> 00:18:43,587
Now, someone has
to take charge here,
353
00:18:43,588 --> 00:18:44,922
And it's gonna be me.
354
00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:46,023
Now, I need a weapon.
355
00:18:46,024 --> 00:18:47,758
What do we have?
356
00:18:53,131 --> 00:18:54,898
Dad.
357
00:18:54,899 --> 00:18:56,100
Explain to me again
358
00:18:56,101 --> 00:18:59,036
Why you need the suit
of many hooks.
359
00:18:59,037 --> 00:19:02,106
Like the wily porcupine,
360
00:19:02,107 --> 00:19:04,374
I now have my armor of quills.
361
00:19:04,375 --> 00:19:06,777
But unlike the wily porcupine,
362
00:19:06,778 --> 00:19:08,746
Won't the animals stick to you?
363
00:19:08,747 --> 00:19:12,883
That's what the mighty
horns are for, son.
364
00:19:12,884 --> 00:19:14,718
If anything gets close,
365
00:19:14,719 --> 00:19:16,120
I lower my head
366
00:19:16,121 --> 00:19:18,155
And proceed
in an aggressive manner.
367
00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:19,623
That should end it
right there.
368
00:19:19,624 --> 00:19:21,024
And I have
my secret weapon.
369
00:19:21,025 --> 00:19:22,192
If anything goes wrong,
370
00:19:22,193 --> 00:19:24,762
I zap them in the face
with bug spray.
371
00:19:24,763 --> 00:19:30,533
Why not just use
your socks on a stick?
372
00:19:30,534 --> 00:19:32,770
Or would that
be too cruel?
373
00:19:34,806 --> 00:19:37,241
God, you're sexy.
374
00:19:38,576 --> 00:19:40,844
[hisses]
375
00:19:45,683 --> 00:19:47,918
Lock the door
behind me, son.
376
00:19:47,919 --> 00:19:49,352
[door opens]
377
00:19:49,353 --> 00:19:51,688
[wolf howls]
378
00:19:53,024 --> 00:19:55,826
Oh, son, you're the man
of the family now.
379
00:19:55,827 --> 00:19:58,028
If for some reason
I don't come back,
380
00:19:58,029 --> 00:20:00,463
The shoe store opens at 10.
381
00:20:01,299 --> 00:20:02,966
[spray can
hissing]
382
00:20:05,536 --> 00:20:07,871
He'll never make it,
you know.
383
00:20:07,872 --> 00:20:09,907
Well, it won't be
the first time.
384
00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:20,383
Well, he's-- he's made it
through the mosquitoes.
385
00:20:20,384 --> 00:20:22,552
He's hurdling a beaver.
386
00:20:22,553 --> 00:20:24,554
Go, al, go!
387
00:20:24,555 --> 00:20:25,789
Oops.
388
00:20:25,790 --> 00:20:27,590
A wolf.
[snarling]
389
00:20:27,591 --> 00:20:31,061
I can't watch,
I have to clean.
390
00:20:31,062 --> 00:20:33,130
Oh, no, you really
should see this, marce.
391
00:20:33,131 --> 00:20:34,464
[snarls]
392
00:20:34,465 --> 00:20:36,233
The wolf is closing in.
[snarls]
393
00:20:36,234 --> 00:20:38,401
Al ducks behind a tree.
394
00:20:39,637 --> 00:20:43,740
He is now stuck to the tree
by his mighty quills.
395
00:20:43,741 --> 00:20:45,008
Whoa-ho!
396
00:20:45,009 --> 00:20:47,978
Look at him shake!
397
00:20:47,979 --> 00:20:50,547
Oh. He's in trouble.
398
00:20:50,548 --> 00:20:54,284
He is now lowering his head
in an aggressive manner.
399
00:20:54,285 --> 00:20:55,585
[bellowing]
400
00:20:55,586 --> 00:20:57,687
So is the moose.
401
00:20:57,688 --> 00:21:00,123
Oh, no!
402
00:21:00,124 --> 00:21:01,758
A trap door!
403
00:21:01,759 --> 00:21:03,827
Food! I found food!
404
00:21:06,931 --> 00:21:08,498
[al screams]
405
00:21:08,499 --> 00:21:10,133
I'll have
any of that.
406
00:21:10,134 --> 00:21:11,268
Oh, my god,
it's chocolate!
407
00:21:11,269 --> 00:21:12,336
We're saved!
Al: Help me!
408
00:21:12,337 --> 00:21:13,370
Give me some!
409
00:21:13,371 --> 00:21:15,272
No, no!
Al:
Help me! Help!
410
00:21:15,273 --> 00:21:17,474
[others clamoring]
[banging on door]
411
00:21:17,475 --> 00:21:20,143
[clamoring continues]
412
00:21:31,089 --> 00:21:32,622
[growls]
413
00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:42,866
Thanks for inviting us,
steve.
414
00:21:46,637 --> 00:21:50,073
What's next, buddy,
lion-country safari?
415
00:21:50,074 --> 00:21:52,842
About 28 days from now?
416
00:21:55,746 --> 00:21:57,747
I feel
so much better.
417
00:21:57,748 --> 00:21:58,982
Oh, me too.
418
00:21:58,983 --> 00:22:00,150
Guess what, guys.
419
00:22:00,151 --> 00:22:02,752
We saw two wrens
make a nest.
420
00:22:02,753 --> 00:22:06,856
Did you happen to find the rest
of my ear out there too?
421
00:22:06,857 --> 00:22:10,593
You're not gonna bring me down,
mr. Cloudy day.
422
00:22:12,863 --> 00:22:15,899
He is such a big baby
when he gets hurt.
423
00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:17,367
Well, we better
start packing.
424
00:22:17,368 --> 00:22:19,602
You've got to go
to work tomorrow.
425
00:22:19,603 --> 00:22:21,204
Aw.
426
00:22:21,205 --> 00:22:23,440
You know, if he was
gonna be such a grouch,
427
00:22:23,441 --> 00:22:25,342
Why'd he even come?
428
00:22:25,343 --> 00:22:27,411
I don't get it.
429
00:22:27,412 --> 00:22:29,346
I mean, why are they
so miserable?
430
00:22:29,347 --> 00:22:32,182
We're the ones
who have the periods.
431
00:22:45,829 --> 00:22:47,697
[♪]